Just like any relationship, friendships have good and bad times. There are ups, like the nights you can’t stop laughing over the dumbest things. And there are also downs, the months that may go by without talking. When a friend hurts you, don’t take it personally. Sometimes friends drift apart. Best friends make new best friends, best friends run off with their new boyfriends and best friends move to new cities and forget to stay in touch. Regardless of the distance and the hurt, don’t let any situation take away from all the love and memories you’ve shared with your besties.
I’ve been in many situations where I’ve felt abandoned or hurt by a friend. I found myself thinking “I would never do/say/act like they did.” While that may be true, it doesn’t always make my way any better than their’s. People operate in different ways. Some friends, like me, like to talk once a week to stay in touch. Others are okay not catching up for months at a time. The point is, don’t take it personally, and if a friend is hurting you with their behavior, let them know. There’s nothing worse than letting your anger and hurt build up to the point that you explode. If something’s not going well, talk about it. Sit down, go for coffee and let your friend know how you feel. I’ve found they are rarely aware of what their doing, and once they are, they are normally apologetic and work to fix the problem.
There’s also times that it’s okay to be selfish and not continue to invest in a relationship. If a friendship is no longer making you happy and no longer bringing joy into your life, its okay to move on. You have to know when it’s right for you to look at a friendship and realize that regardless of the past you’ve shared, the future won’t consist of eating ice-cream cones on curbs and talking until 3 in the morning.
And that’s okay too.
If you decide a friendship has become toxic, just like any other relationship, it’s okay to end it, for you. Knowing when it’s right to walk away from any relationship is difficult. It comes only with heartache and forgiveness that has normally reached the end of its life-line. You have to weigh out what matters most and remember not to compromise the way you feel for anyone else’s satisfaction. Friendships are mutual two-way streets.
Most situations of hurt feelings between friends can be alleviated by talking it out before little things become larger issues. Talking it out and forgiving friends is an important piece of a long-lasting friendship because it’s not always going to be great. If a friendship becomes a part of your life that’s sucking the happiness and energy out of you, you have to know when it’s okay to let it go. Be grateful for the memories you’ve had, and focus on relationships that are bringing more positive energy into your life.
More About the Author
- Elise is a self-proclaimed shoe-addict, professional sushi consumption-ist, and ambitionista. The true embodiment of an extrovert, Elise gets her energy from others; connecting, learning and growing from the people around her. Elise believes in unapologetically being who you are, striving for the next big thing, and leaving everything she touches more sparkly than when she found it. She graduated with a degree in International Business Communications from Juniata College and works outside of Philadelphia as an HR specialist.