Letting go of friendships is incredibly difficult…at least it is for me. I don’t like to give up on my relationships. I want to fix everything. This has caused me immense stress and heartbreak over the years, and I know I’m not alone.
But guess what?
IT’S OKAY TO LET GO.
It really is.
I’m not saying that you should drop a friendship as soon as you have one fight or a single sign of negativity. It’s natural within relationships to have some disagreement, but there has to be a level of discernment. For me, it took my boyfriend, sweet friends, and the obvious raise of my stress to get me to drop a friendship I needed to let go of.
Here are the reasons I walked away from a bad friendship, and if you see these elements in your own relationship, it’s time for you to consider doing the same.
1. Your friend brings only negative emotions into your life.
This person was a constant source of negativity in my life. If I messed up, I wasn’t forgiven, I was torn to pieces. It made me feel horribly about myself. She was also very negative about their own life. She was as hard on herself as she was on others. This started becoming a habit of my own, only amplifying her negative impact on my life.
2. Your friend is dismissing your attempts to resolve problems.
When I screwed up, my apologies were dismissed with the wave of a hand. I genuinely tried to make things right and was dismissed over and over again. This was beyond frustrating. I was “forgiven” and dragged along, feeling awful about myself while this person never apologized for anything.
3. Your friend is consistently dishonest with you.
This person was dishonest with me, making up all sorts of excuses not to see me when it didn’t suit her.
4. There’s no resolving the grudges between the two of you.
This person has held a grudge with me literally since the first time I made a mistake. You do not deserve this. When someone is unwilling to forgive you, it isn’t worth it.
MY BEST TIP For Figuring Out if You Need to Let Go:
Ask your loved ones. Your true friends. Significant other. Family members. Do they think this person is a positive influence in your life? Do they think it is a source of extreme stress for you? It’s probably time to let go if they do.
How to Let Go:
- Lose their number. Unfollow, if not unfriend, them on Facebook. Unfollow them on other social media. Just don’t tempt yourself.
- Schedule hangout time with other friends. Fill up that time you used to spend with them. Hang out with your good friends!
- Schedule time for time by yourself to reflect. I think spending time reflecting is absolutely necessary to sort out your feelings after you move on from something that was once important to you.
- Stay accountable with someone who is around you a lot. This really is only necessary right at first. Eventually, I PROMISE, you will be okay and you will know better than to reach out to them again.
The quote above, “The ones that love us never really leave us,” seemed fitting for this article. It’s true. Your true friends will stick around. These kinds of situations don’t often happen if the friendship is meant to be. It’s okay. It’s normal and natural.
Not everyone you encounter will be a good fit as a friend for you. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, because that’s how you discover where true friendship is meant to exist.
Share your tips and stories of letting go of friendships down below!
More About the Author
- Sara is from Austin, TX and currently attends college at UNT. She’s an Art and Design Studies major with a minor in entrepreneurship. Sara is also newly married. She runs her own blog at sarastrives.com, and runs her own freelance design business at normanstreetdesigns.com. Sara writes about her struggle with mental illness, as well as her college experiences and lifestyle. Sara's favorite thing to do is sit with her husband, Max, and her emotional support dog, Norman, and watch way too much Criminal Minds.