I feel there is this idea floating around the world of blogging that denotes a certain negativity to those in relationships at younger ages. I want to address this because I have discovered in my own life that in fact relationships are not indefinitely the poison to your youth.
Some of you reading this may be like me. This would mean people may have referred to you as a “relationship person” at some point in your life. It feels like sitting on a folding chair in a circle at an anonymous group meeting saying “Hi, my name is Lexi, and I’m a “relationship person.” You may also get some cliche phrases of indirectly insulting advice that run somewhere along the lines of “you’re just too young to be tied down.” To this I ask the question, what exactly am I being tied to? Relationships can stifle you if you allow them to. Unhealthy relationships that is. However, being in a healthy relationship at younger age is not inherently negative.
In the years that you are a young adult, you should grow and experience everything that you can in life. You should find yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live those moments with a significant other. If you and another person truly care for each other, you allow yourselves to go swiftly in the direction of your dreams. You learn together and apart. You can still embark upon all of the wonderful journeys that compliment the lifestyle of a young person.
So maybe you are in fact in a relationship. It doesn’t make you any less independent or ambitious. It doesn’t mean you need someone for happiness, it just means you choose them. You don’t digress in self discovery. If anything, I am sure being in a relationship or past relationships have taught you a lot. I imagine you have learned a lot about communication, loyalty, respect, differences, maturity, and the difficulty of overcoming adversity along side another person. You probably are happy to not be involved in all the drama you see happening to your single friends and the heartache that comes from those brief encounters with others that are inherently emotionally unsatisfying. You get to hang out with the person you have a huge crush on all the time, and in sweatpants no less. You don’t have to worry about trying to be anything you’re not to impress anyone. You can concentrate your natural anxieties of life into other things that are not about dating. In a lot of ways, a good relationship can set you free.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ve been limited. You can still take that job of a lifetime. You can still go out on a Friday night with your friends and dance like a complete idiot. You can still study what interests you and travel where your heart leads you. You can still stay out too late and spend way too much time watching Netflix and eating Nutello. Always do what makes you happy. Healthy couples don’t hold each other back, they push each other to be better. You can still be you and find yourself. As for being limited to one person, if you’re in a happy relationship that shouldn’t matter anyway. You get to have one dance partner, one cuddle buddy, one dinner date, and one kiss goodnight that makes your heart skip a beat every time. You get one really cute boy or girl to talk to your friends about. If you don’t want or need anyone else romantically, no one can tell you that’s wrong. Be an independent you and don’t ever let anyone tell you that being in a relationship takes away from that. If being in a relationship does start to take away from it, then it’s not what you want anyway. Be independent while together. Because the most successful and special relationships are just you and your best friend following your dreams with a few kisses along the way.