I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreaks, and I know it won’t stop at age 21. My first and biggest heartbreak happened when I was 17. I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior (we’ll call him Jason). Jason and I were in a relationship for about a year before I decided that he was the guy I wanted to lose my virginity to. He was sweet, caring, protective, he made me feel safe, and he loved my family, and they loved him just as much. He was always there for my family and I. He would have done just about anything to make sure we all were okay.
At the time, I could see myself marrying him one day, and he felt the same way. On our one year anniversary, he gave me a promise ring. He was my first long-term serious relationship and the first guy I chose to love more than myself. Unfortunately a few months after that, things started going downhill. One day, Jason decided to tell me that he had kissed someone else, and it felt as if my whole world fell apart. A few days later I ended up in the hospital for what was an anxiety attack. We both did everything we could to try and make our relationship last. After two years and one month of being together, we decided to end things. I felt like my whole world crumbled beneath my feet. I had a horrible aching in my chest and anxiety attacks for weeks following our breakup. I was going through my first, real heartbreak, and I had to figure out a way to get out of it.
Unfortunately for me, that heartbreak never fully went away, but it became more bearable. Each heartbreak is different depending on the circumstances that cause it. You may be going through a heartbreak from losing a loved one or pet, or you may be going through the end of a relationship. Whatever it may be, heartbreak is just as painful for one person as it is for another. It’s emotionally crippling and will not go away or lessen up overnight. But, there are things that I’ve done that have helped me lessen the pain and have helped me move on.
Here are some things that I have tried, that might help you get through your heartbreak.
- Spend some quality time with your friends and family. After my breakup, my family was there for me and helped pick up the pieces. We did things together that helped me keep my mind off of what I was going through.
- Write in a journal. Write all of your feelings down, especially if you feel that you have no one to talk to. Keeping your feelings bottled up will make it so much harder to start to get over your heartbreak.
- Each day, write a to-do list. Write down everything you have to do and want to do each day, and make it a priority to complete your list. You may find yourself focusing more on that list that what broke your heart.
- When you’re ready, get back out there. I know it’s cliche, but there are more fish in the sea. You may come to find that there is someone out there that is better for you than the person that caused your heartbreak.
- Lastly, realize that this could be a good thing. It took me some time to be at peace with this one, but once I realized that my heartbreak strengthened me, things got better. I got better. Learn from being heartbroken. Realize what you do and don’t deserve. Try to be at peace with the person you are becoming.
Heartbreak is such a crippling human emotion, and everybody goes through it at some point in their lives. You can choose to wallow in it or overcome it. The choice is up to you. It may go away in days, months, or years – or it may never go away at all. But, it will become bearable. Find what makes you happy and what makes your soul sing and you’ll be okay.