We all know how life goes.

At times it feels impossibly busy, and other times it feels unbearably mundane.

This is especially the case for couples.

You go through phases where you’re flying around barely connecting, and even more, phases where you’re constantly together, but it’s in your sweats on the couch eating a plate of dinner over a throw pillow.

That’s ok. Every couple goes through funks.

Everyone has experienced moments where they feel more distant or detached from their partner.

It’s normal.

What’s important is the effort to get out of the funk, and keep your connection and intimacy strong. Sometimes that takes a little thinking outside the box. A lot of times it takes listening, pausing and loving.

Here, you will find a list of tips and ideas to try with your partner.


1. Try a fun new couples game.

Free stock photo of appartment, at home, at table

I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but couples games can be a lot of fun and really show you a side to your partner that you’ve never seen before.

There are a variety of options, including question-based, conversation starter couple games and ~in the bedroom~ couple games that give you sexy prompts to try together. You be surprised by what you and your partner can learn about one another in a good ole fashion game of sexy truth or dare!

See a few options below!


2. Plan a romantic date night.

woman wearing black sweater holding hand with man wearing gray suit jacket

Get out of the dang house!

Planning a romantic date night is a great way to spice things up in a relationship, especially after a long year and a half of being in the house more than we normally are.

Try a new restaurant together. Go see a movie. See a show. Get tickets for a concert or ball game.

Whatever it is, make it count. Make your time together COUNT. And try to remember what it’s like to be you two outside of the house together, experiencing life and one another.


3. Surprise each other with gifts or personal letters.

Excited African American woman smiling while unrecognizable man standing and hiding flowers behind back

One of the best ways to spice things up in the relationship is to surprise one another and take the time to make the person you love feel special and wanted.

Writing each other kind letters, or surprising your partner with a gift is a great way to do this.

Remember that book they said they wanted to read or record they always wanted to add to the collection. Show them that you pay attention and that the things they want and like are still top of mind for you.


4. Introduce sex toys in the bedroom.

Loving young multiracial lesbian couple holding hands while lying on bed at home

Come on, you knew this one was going to be on the list! Sex toys are a great way to spice things up in the bedroom for both partners. You can order many different types of toys from websites like theadulttoyshop.com.

It can be awkward or intimidating to bring up sex toys if you and your partner have never used them before. But remember this person loves you and wants to grow with you! Trying new things together to increase intimacy in the bedroom is so important. So maybe it’s time to try them out or try a NEW kind if you and your partner are seasoned pros at your go-to toys.

Step outside the box, together.


5. Spend time apart, and then reunite.

Happy Couple at the Beach

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, amirite?

We all know a relationship funk can come from just…well, always being in each other’s business.

If you live together and have not had a chance to spend enough time alone in a while, you might want to go for a week-long trip on your own or spend the weekend away with friends to give you and your partner a little space.

Sometimes you can feel off in a relationship because you feel off in yourself. Feeling sexy and confident in yourself as an individual FIRST is what you need to feel that way with your partner. A fun weekend away from one another can help reinforce that, and actually drive you both closer together. It’s good to miss each other sometimes.

Plus, the reunion is so sweet!


6. Create traditions together.

man and woman standing inside kitchen room

One of the best ways to spice things up in a relationship is to create an interesting tradition. This could be something like cooking an interesting dish every Saturday or going out for a romantic dinner on the first Friday of the month. Whatever it is that you want to do, just make sure that it is something that both of you will enjoy!


7. Try new positions in the bedroom.

woman in white dress lying on white bed

I mean, obviously, this can help ~spice~ things up in a relationship.

It may seem like a no-brainer but what about trying new and interesting positions during sex? Give yourselves the opportunity to be a bit more adventurous and try something that you have never thought about before. Be open with one another too, and listen to what your partner is curious about.

Just like life can get routinized, so can sex and intimacy, unless you make a conscious effort to keep it fresh and exciting.


8. Plan a weekend away.

Happy couple of travelers taking selfie in forest

Sometimes, you just need a quiet weekend away with your partner to reconnect, decompress and let love grow again.

I’m personally a big fan of cozy cabin weekends, but also love the prospect of a beach trip or hiking expedition. Whatever you and your partner love, plan it! Take the time. Open up to each other. Make it happen.

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9. Turn off the distractions and unplug from your devices.

Two Men in Bed Looking at Each Other

Let’s face it, most of us are attached to our smartphones.

Because of that, many couples feel like their relationship is no longer is just two of them, but also thousands of random people on the internet. It’s easy to feel like you’re being ignored or neglected when you’re talking to someone whose eyes are glued to a screen!

If you want to increase the intimacy in your relationship, make sure that you unplug from your devices for a few hours every night together.

Connect. Talk. Cuddle. Hang out.

Without distractions.

You’d be surprised how spicey things get when you toss out the handheld robots.


10. Mix up the location of your alone time.

Man and Woman on Bathtub

Maybe today is the day to try to do bedroom activities, not in the bedroom.

I’m not saying you have to do it on a park bench or something. But what about somewhere at home? The shower? Bathtub? Couch? Kitchen?

There is a lot of spice to be found in feeling like you’re the star of a scene from a sexy Netflix series for a night!


11. Dedicate time to sharing in each other hobbies.

Black man playing guitar for girlfriend in room with dog

Nothing increases intimacy, spice and connection like engaging in activities you and your partner love. Especially if you take the time to really learn about and experience THEIR interests too.

Go on a hike together. Watch each other’s favorite movies. Make music or do a craft together. Ask your partner about the project they’ve been out working on in the garage. Let them tell you about it.

Feeling heard, feeling engaged with, and most importantly, feeling WANTED, is so important for keeping your connection strong in all ways.


12. Dance together.

Woman in White Long Sleeve Shirt and Gray Pants Standing Beside Brown Wooden Table

I know, I know, the cheesiest of all cheesy advice.

But there’s something SO innately romantic, intimate and truly loving about turning down the lights, putting on a treasured record and dancing with your partner. It can be in the kitchen or the living room, or out on the town to see a band that you both love. You may find that fast-paced, sexy dancing is an absolute blast together. Or maybe you like a combination of both!

Whichever you prefer, dance is a powerful tool.

It allows you to let your guard down, and enjoy the music while you enjoy how special it feels to have such special company.


There you have it, 11 ideas for turning up the spice and connection in your relationship. Comment with ideas of your own below!

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