When you make plans… the universe laughs.
This is a mental note and value I carry with me on a daily basis. Right now, it’s becoming a more prevalent and powerful statement in my life.
Life’s main promises are inconsistency, confusion and uncertainty.
These lessons can make us feel very vulnerable and can challenge us in different ways.
Above all, they help us grow.
For me, especially where I am at right now, these core “life promises” are bringing a deep sense of gratitude and a STRONG dose of vulnerability. The reality I am experiencing has completely dissolved all I thought I knew.
As I grow and new expectations and challenges are put on my path, my ideas around receiving and perception have been shattered to pieces.
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What you want may not always come to you the way that you’d envisioned it.
You’re happy, and have received all you’ve needed and desired… but certain elements didn’t pan out, or don’t look the way you once hoped they would.
I find myself constantly working to combat this.
I am a POWERFUL manifestor.
When I put my mind, heart and desire into something, there is nothing that can stand in my way. However, with this mindset, I have had a lesson to learn – and that is life can give you what you want, it just might not come how you expect.
And this…will shake you up a bit.
It certainly has for me.
You can’t let the ‘what if’s’ plague you.
As you grow and mature, you come to realize that it is human to experience a multitude of emotions all at once. Which, to me, is one of the strangest sensations to go through. And sometimes, that can be a very intense thing to go through.
How is it even possible to be in a place in life where you’re blissed out and full of gratitude, yet still feel a hint of sadness? This may not be everyone else’s experience, but right now it’s mine.
Call it my naive, idealized way of thinking – but I am the type of person who can be plagued by the “what ifs” and fantasies that I envisioned. I’ve received everything I could dream of and ask for but in the back of my mind, I just keep saying… “I wonder..”
What if things had worked out with the guy I liked in college and he was here? What if I never get to see or speak to the close friends I had or the professors who helped me get where I am?
I have a position in the career I absolutely love, an exciting new home with endless opportunities and experiences and a space all of my own to live! I have so much that I hold a lot of gratitude and love for. I truly have everything I need!
At least in my experience, I feel like a total life glutton for thinking and wondering about these things. I throw myself on this spiral of shame for believing that I am somewhat unappreciative of all I have been given.
The reality is that’s it’s OK to feel however you feel.
Growth is complicated. Change is scary.
Give yourself grace.
Life rarely turns out exactly how you think it will, and maybe it’s not supposed to.
“I’m so excited and happy about this new stage of life, but I envisioned the person I cared for experiencing this with me.“
“I believed my best friend would be close by, just like they were in college. Now they’re on the other side of the country.“
“I thought at my age I’d be more whole and put together and have the world by the throat.“
Jokes on me, because none of that is the case. These are the thoughts I have that leave me sighing with my face in my palm, daydreaming.
Maybe the correct word isn’t sadness, perhaps it’s more of a feeling of somberness.
Everything isn’t going to happen all at once.
Certain dreams I’ve always wanted and desired to be a part of my life story haven’t happened yet. And that’s OK.
If there’s anything I’ve learned by not having these things, it’s that part of being human is things don’t quite pan out the way you “ordered” them (so to speak.) You’re not ungrateful or a brat for not being 100% happy. Name one person who is 100% happy!
Even the best parts of life can give us moments of sorrow or grief.
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Perhaps those desires are in my future, but I’m just not meant to have them right now.
That’s totally normal, for you and me both.
Good things take time.
Remember that.
It helps to reframe your thinking, and adjust your expectations.
Reflecting on all that I have currently and all that I desire to have in the future can be powerful. Meditating on these thoughts and wishes can teach you an immense lesson about your values (like what you look for in connections with people,) things you want to think about in the future (like where you want to end up or career goals you want to accomplish) and what makes you, you.
Believe it or not, these wishes are part of your personality.
You don’t need to feel guilty for feeling a little sad that happiness didn’t come in the way you had expected.
Or that maybe you have hopes for more in the future that are still on their way. Those feelings and ambitions make you human and only show that you have a vision for the future!
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This combination of fantasy for what’s to come and nostalgia about what’s been brings me an immense amount of peace, gratitude and wonder.
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It also gives me a deeper sense of appreciation for what I have and excitement for what I get to experience in the future.
I can’t wait to see where my career goes, what friends and connections come into my life, who I’ll meet, the places I’ll travel to… the list is truly endless and I welcome them at the pace they’re willing to come. ~you’re welcome for the little manifestation affirmation~ (*cough, cough*) even though I’m impulsive and want all of them ASAP.
Every day I have to remind myself that my story isn’t finished and that more will come when I need it to.
