We are often too hard on ourselves, especially when things go wrong. I can name countless examples of times I didn’t have my act together. But when you think about the fact that I’m a human in my twenties attempting to define myself while fluttering in the labyrinth of everyday living, it’s pretty impressive I can get my shit together at all. We all know it’s exhaustively uninspiring to feel all over the place, but it happens sometimes. There can be a variety of messy situations on the diverse spectrum of life that knock us down.
Here’s a kind (and hopefully empowering) letter to read to yourself when you’re stuck in a funk and need a little pick-me-up:
Your mind got the best of you, again. Your thoughts became the enemy of your breath, and your self-confidence took the brunt of it all– leading you to lose your mental cool. Then, after the lack-of-control, my-mind-is-a-monster feeling sets in, you were disappointed that you couldn’t keep it together.
Remember these things: You’re loved. You’re unique. You’re kind. You’re important. The way you’re feeling is temporary and it isn’t your fault. You deserve to allow yourself to feel and be heard. You also deserve to recognize that you’re in control of your life.
The only thing worse than not feeling okay is how uncomfortable you are with not feeling okay. It’s like you forget that you’re only human, and things just happen.
It’s important to allow yourself to feel, but there comes a point when it’s torturous and no longer healthy. You have so many things that drive you in this life, what makes it unimaginable to think of one now? Take a deep breathe *inhale* *exhale* Remember what makes you feel strong.
It can be as simple as reading a book, stretching your body, painting or listening to music – really anything that creates room in your mind can make all of the difference. It’s easy to feel stuck and be lured into negativity when your attention won’t let go of the gloominess. Recognize the simple things that fill you up and it’ll be easier to acknowledge the power you have over your life. Mental reminder: You are not a victim. Let your mind rest by doing something that allows you to decompress.
You always want to do your best, but holding yourself to the same standard everyday can be cruel. What if you didn’t get enough sleep, or you’re in a negative environment, or you’re stressing over a task you haven’t completed… and the list goes on. How is it fair to compare who you are today to who you were yesterday?
Mental reminder: Reflect on your current situation instead of spiraling it into a bigger one. It’s unfair to make yourself feel worse. Be kind to yourself.
Now you have more room in your mind to create better thoughts. Even when it feels impossible, there’s usually a way to turn a negative into something positive. When things go wrong, that means you get to explore new ideas to make life better. Moving beyond this moment only feels hopeless because you don’t give yourself enough credit. Regardless of what is happening right now, you are in control of creating a better moment, day, month, and year – no matter how often that slips your mind. Uncover the inspired, motivated individual inside of you. Mental reminder: You are not defined by this setback. Use it as a lesson to grow and to understand rather than to judge yourself.
Sometimes when things seem like they will get better, your mind bullies you into thinking you’re not enough. Choose to spend your energy on helping your situation, instead of making a nest in the sadness. There are so many things that fill you up, and it’s okay that it can be challenging to think of even one when you feel low. It doesn’t make you any less of a warrior. Mental reminder: It’s hard to address your situation when your mind isn’t in a healthy state. Encourage yourself to be in the right head-space if you want to make a positive change.
When all else fails, it’s okay to admit you may have absolutely no idea what to do. Ironically, it’s empowering to say this because it’s empowering to be honest with yourself. Transparently see where you are and meet yourself there.
Whatever happens, you will be okay. You have the strength and courage to get through anything.
With unconditional love and kindness,
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More About the Author
- Marissa is a 23-year-old living in the suburbs of Philadelphia constantly looking for her next adventure. She currently works as a Content Specialist and volunteers as a Crisis Counselor for Crisis Text Line. Marissa believes everyone has an important story to tell and is an advocate for mental health, creative expression, and cultivating compassion. You can find her exploring a hiking trail, drinking too much tea, or impatiently waiting by platform 9 ¾ in an endless search for the Hogwarts Express.